plz talk dirty to me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
