Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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