i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
