she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
