I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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