White coat. Heels.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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