i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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