and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
