Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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