tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
