Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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