When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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