How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
