just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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