Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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