It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
