I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
