Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
