i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
