were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
