Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
