I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
