this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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