thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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