if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
