We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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