its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize