i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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