It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
