Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
