You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize