OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
