I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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