i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We have started to decorate penises.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
