I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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