Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Send help, water and tortillas.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
