the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
