I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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