This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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