it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
