Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
