I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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