is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
