I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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