i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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