Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
