chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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