dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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