I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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