All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
