Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All the doctor said was why
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
