Grow some girl-balls and come out already
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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