sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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