Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
