Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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