If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
