I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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