he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am midnight drunk by noon
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
