Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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