Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
